Meeting singles by flirting at bars and clicking with online Lavalifers definitely has its arousing advantages, but hooking up with other spicy singles need not be limited to traditional dating venues. In fact, it can equally mischievous to connect with someone in an everyday environment--food shopping, wine tasting, frolicking at a dog park. Best, the pressure-free surroundings provide a natural conversation topic to begin interacting. Regularity is the salacious secret here: the more you bump into each other, the most comfortable you'll become. Make sure to frequent places that best reflect your interests.

1. Linen Beginnings What's more alluring than soft bed sheets, a clean bathroom, and fluffy towels? Department store linen departments are one of the sassiest places for neat freaks to meet likeminded singles. It's probably safe to assume that if a hottie guy or girl cares about guest towels, they're likely feel good about asking you over and making you feel at home.

2. Judge a Book by its Lover From poetry to porn, fiction to sex addiction, what can't you say about yourself by browsing in a particular section of a bookstore or library? Many of today's book superstores also provide coffee shops, comfy seating, and air conditioning, so take your time and read between the lines of other shoppers.

3. Bedding at the Wedding Frequently and mistakenly dreaded by the dateless, nuptial events rank right up there with other pick-up hot spots. Romance is in the air, all are dressed to the nines, there's vino and dancing to be relished, and you already know everyone at the event by mere association. So usher in your enticing side and say 'I do' to those roomfuls of potential dates.

4. Food for Thought Are you a tofu stir-fry kind of guy or a flank steak girl, a Rice Krispie square baker or a fresh parmesan grater? Shopping carts weren't constructed of wire mesh without purpose--they're ideal for snooping. Visit your grocer on the same day every week, giving yourself plenty of time to squeeze the melons, smell the strawberries, and flirt your pants off with likeminded foodies.

5. Charity Begins Alone Want to meet that special someone while simultaneously contributing to the community? Then volunteering is for you. With so many charities needing support--from the SPCA to the Sally Ann--you'll have no problem finding a cause that sates your Good Samaritan urge. And volunteers can be counted on to be thoughtful and considerate types, usually with plenty of free time to play and cavort with other slinky singles.

6. It's a Dog-Meet-Dog World You don't have to be a canine owner to meet all the young, hip singles hanging out at a dog park--borrow one from a friend who's "out of town" for a few days. The pups do all the judging for you, even down to the crotch-sniffing. All you have to do is throw a soggy tennis ball a few times and follow up.

7. Be a Winer Vineyard tours, wine-tasting events and oenophile and sommelier classes are all single-friendly gatherings where picking up can be as easy as picking grapes. Come prepared to talk about your favorite vintages or a nearby restaurant with a noteworthy wine carte--the perfect stepping stone for a date.

8. Come Clean A few quarters and a scoopful of laundry detergent could easily morph into a few hours of steamy conversation with a new single in your 'hood. You've got a few hours to work your wonders while clothes tumble and toss. And what better way to check out someone's sexy underclothes or show off your own trendy garb?

9. Perk Up Meet other caffeine addicts in a swish, relaxed atmosphere. Tightly packed tables, background jazz music stylings and a laissez-faire attitude encouraging subtle displays of personal interest--journal writing, laptop work, book reading, photograph browsing--all make coffee shops a pick-up spot accessible to everyone.

10. Hobnob Hobbies From marketing seminars for career-focused urbanites to language classes for travel-fiends to Pilates for the amorously athletic, classes are a shoo-in for meeting singles of a similar persuasion. Pick a hobby that interests you and that you know will attract the kind of person you're hot for--you'd be mistaken if you expected to find a roomful of single men at a salsa lesson or a gaggle of gorgeous girls at a racecar mechanic's class. Check out your local community center, dance studio, college, and conference hall for offerings.

Are we just trying to make ourselves feel better when, in fact, the problem may lie with us and not with the women who prefer guys who apparently, are not nice?

Do men honestly think that being nice is a drawback when it comes to women? I think that we need to take a good look at ourselves if we've ever uttered this phrase as an excuse.

Nice Guy Syndrome has become a pervasive way of thinking for a certain type of man. I stumbled on this quote posted on the Counseling Center for Human Development Web site at The University of South Florida:

"The nice guy is the person who you trust and feel comfortable with, but don't see as 'fun' or 'challenging' or really all that 'interesting,' other than as a friend, of course."

I think that quote is the classic Nice Guy Syndrome mind-set. It sounds pretty reasonable at first blush, but if we look deeper at how the "Nice Guys" behave, we'll see some similarities in their thinking and actions.

Some of the symptoms of Nice Guy Syndrome:

Avoiding Conflicts
A so-called Nice Guy will go out of his way to avoid an argument even if he strongly believes he's right. That kind of passivity doesn't mean that you're nice. It means that you're a pushover. It's not the challenge that women really want, it's someone who has his own set of opinions and is willing to back them up.

Having a spine is a good thing... and conflicts are how we learn about each other. Deferring to the woman all the time leads to a stagnation in the relationship and can make a woman feel quite alone because when she looks to you for an opinion, all she'll get back is her own.

Placing Women on Pedestals This is a really big problem with Nice Guys and it's a sure-fire path to failure.

When you put a woman on a pedestal, you thrust upon her the idea that she is perfect, beyond-reproach, angelic, and unable to make mistakes. Who in the world can live up to that kind of billing?

When a woman who has been placed on a pedestal inevitably falters or takes a misstep, she comes crashing down hard. The man who placed her there can't believe that the woman he placed all his faith in could suddenly become so... well... human.

Holding anyone up to unrealistic expectations is unhealthy for both parties. Nice Guys have to realize that they are involved with women who have faults. Stop foisting what you wish were their traits on them - and take them for the wonderfully, flawed individuals that they are.

Passive Neediness Oooh... this is one of the most irritating things in the world to witness. It also falls under the unrealistic expectations category. You want something from your mate (fair enough), but you don't ask for it (not fair at all), then you feel hurt when you don't get it (incredibly unfair).

Basically, if you want something, you have to ask for it. Then, and only then, if you don't get it you can make an issue of it by verbalizing your feelings. Expecting a woman to read your mind is rather unfair, don't you think?

By now you may be thinking: Nice Guys aren't always nice, and have a tendency to be passive aggressive in these situations. The trouble is, Nice Guys think that asking for something makes them selfish. But they have to wake up to the fact that we all want and need things. It's what makes us human. Ask, and maybe, ye shall receive.

Living For Someone Else Another classic trait of Nice Guy Syndrome entails the idea of self-sacrifice. That's not always a bad thing, but if a relationship only has one person making sacrifices, we run into trouble. The end result of this is that the Nice Guy feels used and unappreciated.

Nice Guys often lose themselves in their partner and do everything to try and make them happy. But, in the process, they lose their individuality, the very individuality that probably made them attractive to their mate in the first place.

Nice Guys are so very eager to please that they end up denying themselves happiness along the way. Does that sound like a healthy way to live?

No More Mr. Nice Guy
As you can see, Nice Guy Syndrome is a pretty damaging condition. So the next time you utter the phrase, "nice guys finish last", think about what you're saying and take a moment to see if you really are as "nice" as you believe.